*Looking For Love…

January 15, 2007

Everyone seems to be looking for that right person to share their life with. Always seeking never finding, that ongoing human condition, often has to do with feeling left out in the love department. I think the dilemma lies in wanting love rather than wanting to give love. What if someone told you that if you want someone in your life at all you had to be the giver of love, not the receiver? Would you still be rigorously looking for that right person? Might slow you down a bit don’t you think? Yet we do know, in our heart of hearts, that our fullest heart comes from loving, not from being loved.

Why is it then we continue to make it all an exercise in accounting? Before the relationship there is the list of must haves and after the relationship gets going it is the comparison list; I did this and this and this and gave this and that and the other thing and you have given this little minuscule thing that I didn’t want in the first place!

Here is a thought. What if we just go out every day wanting to give love rather than wanting it directed at ourselves? What if loving (giving it) became sort of a habit? What if we just let it flow from us and enjoyed that feeling of wholeheartedness? What if…



3 Responses to “*Looking For Love…”

  1. Pam Says:

    Sometimes giving love entails receiving love. To be received as an individual is a great gift. Sometimes people reach out to us, share something of themselves, not quite in the right way, maybe. Not quite in the way we would do it. Not quite expressing themselves as we think they ought to, and so we wait, hoping they’ll “get it,” and will figure out the right way, (which is, of course, our way), to reach out, to offer themselves, to share, to love. And all the while, they’re loving us in their own way. Which is never our way, because no two people are the same.

  2. Tamara Says:

    I am re-reading (because I wasn’t present the 1st time) the book “How To Expand Love” by HH Dalai Lama. That is exactly the premise of the book, and Buddhism in general. Give love without looking to receive; you WILL receive, but that is what faith is all about. Knowing that and trusting that. Recognizing it is another ballgame, I admit.
    Indeed if we could just give love, rather than look for it constantly, who is going to return it? The Universe! Can’t think of anything (anyone?) that would make me feel better. Better about what? Myself! And isn’t that what we’re TRULY looking for when we look for that “perfect lover”? Someone to redeem us and make us feel that we might, just maybe, be OK.

  3. Trish Scott Says:

    Wow. I totally missed these comments when they came out (years ago now). Amazing points Pam and Tammara. Thanks.

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