*I AM

January 8, 2007

I love life. It really is a trip. I find more and more, as I have gradually given up directing it, that I am simply joyful in awaiting what happens next. You just never know what may happen next. A lot of people get that way at the movies or reading a good book, but I would like to suggest that you put all that down and just “set a spell” and see what happens next. Don’t do anything, don’t try to make anything happen, don’t move until the spirit moves you. Really.

OK, you may have to go to work and shop for groceries and do the cooking and laundry and clean up after yourself and pay the bills and such, but in your head just set a spell. Don’t ruminate on the past or venture into the future or set goals (I know, heresy) or even make the most rudimentary plans. Just sit there in your head and observe your life as it comes. If you are new to this, yes it will make you crazy. It may feel something like having an itch you can’t scratch, but just sit there in your head and watch it anyway. After awhile you will perhaps glimpse a measure of peace and comfort. Ahhh… so sweet. Then you may find it is worth sitting through the itch to get to the comfort. Once you get the hang of it, just sitting there in your head watching, with no expectations, no requirements, no illusion of control, you will start to feel a bit of excitement about what may happen next. You haven’t tarnished the next thing with plans or expectations so you don’t have a clue how the next moment may go. Maybe the spirit will move you to do something, maybe not. Mostly it will feel like you are just sitting there doing nothing at all! But one day while you are just sitting there, you may be moved to take a look at where you’ve been in the last week or so and find that a whole hell of a lot has happened while you have just been sitting there. And you may think, If I had set a goal to do all that, it would have taken me months and then it wouldn’t have worked out right.

It’s funny what can be going on while you are just sitting there. Life can be effortless and joyful and productive, but no one ever believes me when I say that. They probably think of me as a sort of sweet imbecile (Ah!!! Of course! The fool!:)) when I talk like that. And so I AM! Trish

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